It's Friday. Sex?
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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