i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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