went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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