i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
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