there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize