At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
A+ Viking dick
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