It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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