i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
