Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
