I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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