talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
