get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
