Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize