I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
