I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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