I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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