You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Randomize
