So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
