so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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