ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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