IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
