I hope mine doesn't look like that
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize