Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
