but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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