you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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