Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
