they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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