I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
