She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Two words: blizzard sex
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
