okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
