he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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