Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize