If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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