i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
