I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
