fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
