is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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