Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
