i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
