I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
