Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
