that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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