Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
