is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize