I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
