at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
