what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
