Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
