I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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