Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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