she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
