your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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