this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
