he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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