so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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