i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
